If I Told You I Was Crazy, Would You Believe Me? If I Told You I Loved You, Would You Think Me Insane?



Setting: Smithson Valley High School stage, afternoon, early spring during a thunderstorm. Everyone is there. It's just before a rehearsal and most everyone is milling around on the stage. The rest are in the pit.

Colby: (puts arm around Sarah's waist) What's wrong with you? (pokes her in the stomach and she jumps and smiles fleetingly.)
Sarah: Nothing. (She lays her head on his shoulder and sighs.)
Colby: Liar. (pokes her again) Tell me.
Sarah: Don't poke me.
Colby: Tell me.
Sarah: (grins slyly) What'll you give me?
Colby: I'll poke you again if you don't. Tell me.
Sarah: (looks at him for a moment, then away) Nothing.
Colby: (looks at her intensely) Tell me.
Sarah: Nothing! (shrugs his arm off)
Colby: Fine.
Sarah: (walks away a few steps and turns back) What do you see when you look at me?
Colby: (looks her up and down with a leer)
Sarah: (smiles) Cut it out, Colby, you're dating someone. (now serious) Honestly, what do you see when you look at me?
Colby: (serious too) I see a beautiful young woman. Very beautiful.
Sarah: Then if I'm so beautiful, why am I alone?
Colby: (steps to her and hugs her then holds her at arms length) I don't know. I guess no one is intelligent enough to realize how wonderful you are.
Sarah: How long have we known each other?
Colby: (runs a hand through his messy hair) Since kindergarten.
Sarah: (smiles ironically) Then how come you haven't realized how wonderful I am?
Colby: (all seriousness gone) I have, baybah! (melodramatic) Let's run away together! I love you, baby!
Sarah: Shut up. (she sniffs, wraps her arms around her shoulders and begins to cry very quietly) Damn.
Colby: I'm sorry. You know I love ya. (gives her a quick squeeze and dashes off to the pit and is intercepted by his girlfriend, Mandy.)
Sarah: (watches them embracing for a moment and then turns toward the audience.) (whispers) Yeah. (sniffs again and wipes her eyes, stands up straight and turns around to face the group, smiles sassily and yells) Which one of you would date me? (no one looks her way) Hello!? I said, which one of you would date me? (still no one looks, she's desperate for a response of any kind) Who wants to fuck me?! (incredibly enough, no one responds. In fact, the people closest to her have become statues, frozen exactly in the middle of what they were doing. As she watches open-mouthed, the freezing spreads like spilled water, catching people and turning them into statues. No one notices. There are a large number of couples present, caught in poses of closeness and intimacy. Everyone else is arranged in groups, caught in poses of excited conversation.) (screams) What's wrong with you people?! (She looks into Chad's face. He is sitting on the stage nearby holding Jessica on his lap and frozen laughing.) Chad? (She stands up straight and begins babbling) This is it. I've gone crazy. I always knew it would come. (sobbing) I'm so lonely, and I know that sounds stupid, but it is the worst pain there is. (She is talking to the audience, sometimes imploringly, sometimes furiously) I'm a nice person. Truly. And all these people are good friends but I'm so damn lonely. I'm good enough for a drunken screw and some confessions, but not for love. How long has it been since someone held me? I'm not talking about a companionable hug; I'm talking about caring and tenderness and love. Not lust either. I'll tell you when. Not since David. (The lights darken on the statues behind her, and a tall young man with dark hair walks to her from off stage.)
David: I missed you so much. (gives her a hug) I'm on leave for a week, and I thought I'd drop by. (melodramatically nonchalant)
Sarah: (cold) You lied to me.
David: (hurt) I'm so sorry. I thought you forgave me. I never meant to hurt you. I love you.
Sarah: (furious) You LIED to me, you bastard! I trusted every word you said. I BELIEVED in you! And you Lied to me! You got down on one knee and asked my to marry you, and all the time you were lying to me!  Every word was a damn lie!
David: (kisses her passionately) Forgive me. I grew up trying to survive, you know what my parents did to me. I learned to lie to get attention. And when you said you would marry me, I tried to stop, but I just couldn't. Please, Sarah, please forgive me. Don't leave me. It would kill me. I love you. (whispers) I love you.
Sarah: (in extreme pain) I love you, but I don't know you. You are my husband, but I don't know you. I married someone who doesn't exist. Good bye, David honey.
David: But ma cherie, I love you!
Sarah: (furious) Just leave.
David: (freezes in a pose of sheer anguish and shame, head hanging, shoulders slumped. The lights come back up.)
Sarah: (to the audience) I don't think he loved me. Oh, I'm sure he thought he loved me, but... And we never did married, not legally. We had a pagan ceremony in Montgomery, Alabama. It was beautiful. But it was on an Air Force base, and I don't think my Goddess appreciated that. (She sits on a table, moving a person out of her way who walks on his own as long as she touches him. She is now unconcerned about this. She sighs and noticed Eric staring at her. She gets up and walks perpendicular to him and he tracks her movements with his head and eyes. She walks to him.) Y'know, I really like you. You're tall and good natured and good looking. We share a similar loneliness, and I seem to catch you staring at me often. I don't know what it is about you, but I have this frequent dream we're married. I'm fairly certain you like me. All I want is a bit of tenderness. We don't have to love each other, just be close and caring. It would be so simple, so nice. Why did you never talk to me? (screams) Why?! Am I unapproachable? Am I a brick wall? Do we speak different languages? Why?! (she falls against him, weeping, and he slowly moves his arms. He holds her and she stops crying.)
Eric: I was afraid.
Curtain closes.
 
 

© Copyright 1999 by Sarah Gaunt

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